I wore a bikini today...

I wore a bikini to the pool today. I know it doesn't seem like that big a deal, but it was for me. The last time I wore a bikini was when I was 17 years old and had starved myself down to 118lbs. And I remember feeling so fat in that suit.

But yesterday I found a bikini at Target that I liked, and I bought it. After 30 years of feeling self-conscious about my body and feeling dowdy and conservative, I decided that I am sick of feeling like an old woman. I am 30 years old, 5'3", 139lbs with stretch marks and a pouchy belly, and I wore that bikini today and felt just fine. Even more than that, I felt great. Great because I did not feel fat; I did not feel self-conscious; I did not feel dowdy... Seems strange that after carrying and giving birth to two children, I feel better about myself than I ever have. I never thought I would ever feel this way, but I LOVE MY BODY, flaws and all!

And this turquoise bikini is just an outward sign of an inward transformation. I am finally figuring out who I am. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I am finally confident. I am finally, finally happy with myself!