my husband is so sweet...

you know, it is always the little things that get me!

last night i called dh on his way home and begged him to get us takeout for dinner. now, i was thinking our normal chicken fingers or burgers, right? well, he went to our favorite local italian restaurant and he brought home my absolute favorite meal: angel hair dalvina with salad and garlic rolls & a CANNOLI!!! i don't know why i was so touched, but i almost cried!! it was just such an unexpected treat! and i was reminded right there: this is why i LOVE this man! the little things....he is great at the little things! so we ate our dinner, and then after the kids went to bed, i ate my cannoli and we watched american idol together! it was a good night.

otherwise, dd left today to spend the weekend with my inlaws, but i did a sweet layout of her:



i used rachael giallongo's "seasons collection: winter" #3 & michelle coleman's awesome "feeling groovy" paper & elements!

hope you all have a good day!

cold, damp, icky day...

it is damp and icky and rainy here today--not so cold temperature-wise, but the damp makes it cold...just dreary today, and i feel dreary as a result, ya know?

sorry i haven't blogged much lately. i spent the better part of this week grading papers, which were, btw, pretty good overall. i love my teaching so much, and i feel so lucky to be teaching. the grading is the WORST, though!! oh, well, necessary evil.

i haven't been scrapping a whole lot the last few days, but i know i am about to go through a major scrapping spurt because faith true has just released a bunch of really cool stuff at TDS--here's a taste:



AND



there is more where that came from! be sure to check out faith's store at TDS!

and a little birdie told me that lena brandenburg is working on a new paper pack and element pack! :)

so, as you can see, i am going to be a busy woman! i can't wait! and i will have so much time to work because i am at a slow point with my teaching load and dd is going to her grandmother's for the weekend!

i am thinking of taking ds to bridge to teribithia this weekend while dd is gone--has anyone seen it? how was it? i'd love to hear!

have a great hump day!

i went shopping! (warning: major enabling!)

sorry i have been a little scarce--i can't honestly say i am any more busy. i just go through spurts of not being able to scrap, and i have been going through one of those times. i just needed a little break. but now it is over :)! i have decided to try my hand at the more funky, chaotic, element-filled layout. it is so trendy right now, and i am going to scraplift somebody, i think...i'll let you know how it turns out.

i finally got to post my latest layout (i did it a week ago, but i had to hold it till one of the products was released):



i used faith true's "cupid's tapestry" kit and rachael giallongo's "wide open spaces, vol. 1" layout template! and that, of course, is my husband's and my hand...

okay, so i went shopping! first of all, i got lena brandenburg's new pipecleaner arrows:



i also got nancy comelab's photo clusters at MDM:



and toni berman's "date tickets":



i also got some cool doodles and ribbons, etc.

i won't get to scrap tonight, but i am hoping to get to work on something tomorrow! :)

my baby is sick, and i am exhausted...

evie catherine had a rough night last night--she has had a runny nose for a couple of days, but last night in the middle of the night, she spiked a fever, was coughing like crazy, and was wheezing. i got no sleep...and i had to cancel my classes today. ick. she seems a lot better this morning. she doesn't know to be sick, i don't think! it is a beautiful, beautiful sunny day here, and i hate being all cooped up. at least cater will be able to go out and play!

thanks to lena, i finally got michelle coleman's "all you need is love" kit! and i had a chance to play with it last night:



credits: "all you need is love" by michelle coleman, "purty pics actions" by holly mccaig, and stamped hearts by stacey jewell stahl.

also, i tried my hand at last week's "lifts with a twist" and got to use stacie prinzo's new papers & elements, "fly away" (available at TDS) and some of lena's cool new elements:



credits: "fly away" papers & elements by stacie prinzo (at TDS), ricrac star and yarn star by lena brandenburg (at TDS), yarn heart by lena brandenburg (at ACOT & ES), shmootzy alpha II by nancie rowe janitz (at scrapartist).

i feel a creative spurt coming on! :)

hope you all have a good day!

i am so blessed!!!

after feeling pretty sad yesterday, i am feeling totally blessed today!!

my friends are so wonderful! my friend trish did something really sweet for me yesterday, and i didn't find it till today. i want to thank her for remembering. i wouldn't have gotten through without her! also, lena got me a $10 gift certificate to scrapartist to buy a kit i have been wanting for a while. i have been helping lena moderate her CT forum, and this was her "thank you"! here is the kit i bought:



it is michelle coleman's "all you need is love"!! i have wanted this kit since the moment i saw it!! i am so thrilled!

i am also feeling a lot better about trying to conceive this next baby: i start clomid in 2 days. i have done clomid in the past (when we were ttc#2), and it does a real number on me, but i feel confident i can deal with it if it results in a healthy pregnancy. either way, i feel hopeful about it for the first time in a while. God has given me peace about finally, and i am so thankful for that!!

i hope you all have a great day!

a letter to my child...

my dear sweet baby,

you were due today. now i know babies don't always come on their due date, so you could have been born anytime in the past week or so, but because i will not have the opportunity to give birth to you, today is the day i will remember...

it seems so strange to me that i should mourn you so deeply--i was only pregnant with you for 7 weeks. and by the time the doctor told me i was pregnant, you were already dying. from the first moment i knew you existed, i also knew you were not going to survive. it was the worst pain i can imagine. the knowledge that you were there inside of me, yet unable to hold on, was excruciating. i walked around for a week pregnant, and yet not really pregnant. i waited for the inevitable. and a week after the doctor told me i was pregnant with you, i gave you back to God. i prayed and told Him that i was giving you back to Him--to be an angel to watch over us. and i asked Him for it be over. now my prayers are not often answered so quickly, but a few hours later, i began cramping and bleeding. and what was left of you slipped out of me over the course of the next couple of days.

i thought it would be over then, but it really wasn't. i don't know that i will ever totally get over it. perhaps it is because pregnancy doesn't come easily to me. but perhaps it is simply because you were my child. you were real to me. and i will never know who you were. i will never know if you would have been strongwilled like your brother and sister. i will never know what you would have looked like. i will never know how it would have felt to nurse you or hold you or sleep next to your warm little body. i will never know what you would have smelled like, or what it would have felt like to nuzzle your tiny, soft cheek. i will never know so many things. and i am so unbelievable sad about it.

so today i mourn you. and i do so mostly alone. no one else was changed by you--only i was pregnant with you. only i felt different. only i talked to you and dreamed of you. only i felt the physical pain of you leaving. and now only i feel the emotional pain of this loss. i have many friends who have supported me and loved me through this ordeal. and they continue to do so. they remember with me. but this is my burden to bear, as so many women know all too well.

but i am comforted, too. i am comforted by the knowledge that you are with your heavenly Father. i am comforted by the fact that my father was there to greet you when you crossed into heaven. i always wished that my daddy could know my children, and just think, he got to meet you before i did! i am comforted that you are an angel watching over all of us--especially your big brother and big sister. i am comforted because i know that God has a plan for our family, and that you were a part of that plan, no matter how brief a part.

i want you to know that i will not forget you ever. i pray that God will grant me more children. and i pray that i never suffer this loss again. i am, in my heart, now a mother of three. and most of the world will never know of you, but i will not forget. i will carry you in my heart.

thank you for being a part of my life.

i love you more than you can ever know.
mommy