My Turning Point

The art journal challenge for this week is by Trish (Artcmom), and I decided to try it. The theme is about a turning point, but I can't decide what my turning point is. Because writing is my thing, I decided to try to write through it and see what I come up with.

My very first thought was that my turning point was when my father died, or rather when he was sick and how the entire ordeal changed me...this event changed my hopes, dreams, and priorities. I think before he died, I was so naive. I was an only child who, despite all the rampant disfunction around me, had been told and taught that I was special. I wanted to act and sing and was such a dreamer before he died. I was passionate and poetic and, well, a lot more free than I am now. After he died, I went crazy for a while. I was a sophomore in college, and I did what college kids do. I drank way too much and I smoked way too much and I drowned myself in all the excess. And when I was done with that, I sat and stared at walls for a while. Then I did what he always taught me to do. I "bucked up" and got on with my life. I did what I was supposed to do. I made good grades; I calmed down; I became dependable again. But I think something in me was broken, or at least forever tamed. I didn't want to run off to New York and be in musicals anymore. Hell, it was years before I even wanted to sing again, really. Music was too much a part of my spirit, and if I tapped into that, I would have to tap into the pain, which I did not want to do. The point is this: The dreamer in me died when he died. What little bit of vagabond, free spirit I had in me was buried when he was buried...and I will never, ever be able to recover the bit of me that was lost--the naive view of the world. So, what I went after was stability, predictability, safety, and I found it.

Other turning points:

*You don't bring me flowers (age 4)
*Birth of son
*YaYas
*Natural childbirth

If I could chose a different occupation...(DSP Prompt 10/13)

Prompt: Would you choose differently if you could choose your occupation again? Why? How?

You know, I wouldn't chose a different occupation if I could...I might take a more direct approach to get here, however. I am a college English instructor, and I really do love it! It is not what I intended to do with my life, mind you. I wanted to have 4 children and stay at home and homeschool them, etc. But sometimes God has plans for us that don't necessarily jive with our own plans--and I am thankful for it! When had trouble conceiving our second child, I decided to go back to graduate school in an effort to figure out what to do with my life if I wasn't going to be able to have a bunch of children. And here I am now! I have a degree, I teach parttime, my children are in school, and I am happy...

Recipes or Seasonal Foods (DSP Prompt 10/9)

Oh, I love this time of year because of the comfort food! :)

I am a crazy woman for good pecan pie, and my MIL starts making it for events all holiday season. I swear I gain 5 lbs every year off of her pecan pie alone!

This fall I am going to do a lot of yam recipes--I like yams, but I am doing primarily for medicinal reasons. Apparently yams can help improve egg quality and strength of ovulation, and since I am trying to get pregnant without the use of fertility drugs (at least right now), I am trying to get excited about YAMS. Any good yam recipes, girls? I need them!

Otherwise, I am actually having Christmas day at my house this year, and I have no idea what to cook...

Thanks for reading my rambilng today!

Write about whatever for 5 minutes (DSP Prompt 10/4)

GO!

My grandmother and my aunt just left our house, and I am struck by how much my grandmother has gone downhill in the few months since I last saw her...She used to be such a towering, strong woman. She is 82 now, though, and her age is finally starting to show. Her voice is softer; her movements slower. And I can see the stress of it on my aunt's face. It makes me a little sad. I know that this is the consequences of time, but as I get older, I am more and more aware of how quickly it all goes by. What will I be like at 82 (God willing that I make it to 82)? I hope to have not just grandchildren but great-grandchildren. I hope to be in good health and still have a good mind (both of my grandmothers are still relatively sharp given their advanced age). I hope my old age is a happy time...my friend Kim & I joke that we will sit on the porch of our old folks' home and eat cannolis all day while we rock in our rocking chairs and recall old times. Which leads me to my next point, which is that after I reach age 70 or so, I am going to eat whatever in the world I want. I figure if I make it that long, then I am going to deserve luscious deserts and lovely, gourmet meals! I mean, why grow old if you can't enjoy it?

STOP!

Celebrate a relationship in your life... (DSP Prompt 10/3)

I have a lot of great relationships I could celebrate--my husband, my kids, my family, my YaYas, my friends--but I think I will take a different approach today.

I want to celebrate my relationship with the teller at the bank. A few weeks ago, I drove up to the drive thru window to get our grocery cash for the month. Nicole (the teller) said, "Hello, Mrs. ****." I said, "Hello, Nicole," as I put my check and ID into the little drawer. Then Nicole said, "I don't need to see your ID anymore, Mrs. ****." It was at that moment that it occurred to me that Auburn is truly home.

I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone else. My pharmacist was not just a random person, he knew me and my mother and my grandmother, and I graduated with his son, etc. The tellers at the bank were people I had grown up with. I could not go to the grocery store (or anywhere) without seeing people I knew.

And although we have lived here for, gosh, nearly 7 years now, I am not sure I ever felt that same level of comfort and had those "home" experiences until the past year or so.

Now, when I go into my pharmacy, they know me. The pharmacist knows my children and can ask about them. When I go to the Kroger, it takes me an extra 30 minutes because I know I will see someone I have to talk to. At the Kroger, the manager of the natural foods section knows me well enough to say, "We just got in some new yogurt like your little girl likes." And now the teller at the bank knows me, too.

It is often the small, small things that help us to feel comfortable in our community and in our "home." And today I want to celebrate my relationship with Nicole, the bank teller, because she made me realize all of this just by telling me that she did not need to see my ID anymore.

I've been tagged!!!!

Well, I have now been tagged twice!

Here are 5 weird/odd things about me:

1. I like to put A1 Steak Sauce on my baked potato. It is sooo good!
2. I wear granny nightgowns to bed every night. My friend Jenny makes fun of me for this, and I am trying to aquire some younger sleeping attire, but it is expensive to buy nightwear!
3. I am severely scared of spiders. I hate them. A lot.
4. I think my husband is incredibly sexy with a full beard! He says it is a weird fetish or something, but I really love it on him. The strange part is that I don't particularly pay attention to facial hair on other men...
5. My first love was my husband's best friend (this was years ago in high school--way before he and I were together or thought of being together!)!

Okay, I am going to be hard pressed to tag 5 people because I don't know that I know 5 people to tag. Here is my list:
Michelle (michellejnig)
Linda (Scraphag)
Heather (mercerph)
Bonnie (bonniesbonbon)
mom2triplets04

Here are the rules for the people I tagged. Make a list of 5 weird/odd things about you, then tag 5 people.

I'll sleep well tonight because...(DSP Prompt 10/1)

First things first: Sorry I've been AWOL for a while. I just needed some time to get myself together. I had to grade a bunch of papers and catch up on some things!

Now, on to the prompt:

I'll sleep well tonight because I am going to take a decongestant to try to get rid of all the crud in the back of my throat!

No, really, I will sleep well tonight because my kitchen is clean, my children are tucked safely into bed, my husband & I are on the same page about trying to conceive a third child (for us to be on the same page is a tremendous relief to me), and I am healthy. I am blessed that things are relatively calm right now, and I will rest well because of it!

Hope you all sleep well, too!

My Happiness (DSP Prompt 9/14)

Prompt: What is your happiness today?

I have so many things to be happy about: a great husband, great kids, great friends, great job, etc...

But I don't feel very happy right now. Not sure exactly what my "happiness" is exactly right now...I am thankful and grateful and feel very blessed, but I am not sure happiness is a description of how I feel about anything right now...I guess maybe my "happiness" today is that I can admit that and am working towards happiness again...

Sorry to be such a downer. But it is how I feel.

Where Were You... (DSP Prompt 09/11)

Has it been 5 years already? Funny how this event, like most tragic events, seems still so close, and yet I can't really remember what life was like before it...

I was a stay at home mom 5 years ago, and I kept a 5 month old baby girl in addition to my 9 month old son. I had just gotten my son down for a nap, and I was trying to get Emma down, too, when the phone rang. It was my mother. Now, you have to know that my mother calls like 5 times a day, and she tends to dramatize things, so when she said, "Are you watching the Today Show? A plane just flew into the World Trade Center. They think it is terrorists," I blew her off. I told her, "Mother, I need to get Emma down--I am sure it is an accident." And I got off the phone with her and put Emma down...

After she was asleep, I turned on the TV just in time to see the second plane hit. And I knew my mother was right. I have never been so shocked in my life. I sat in the floor and cried. Then I called my husband at work and told him to come home.

I felt so scared; scared because for a couple of hours there, it seemed like there were planes everywhere trying to run into everything: The towers, then the pentagon, then a plane in a field. I am not sure how to explain those first few hours--they were so surreal...there were still babies to care for and food to eat and normal stuff going on in my house, when I just wanted to sit and cry...

So, for days and days I watched TV. I think it was like a week before normal TV even came back. I barely slept--no one I know did. It became almost like an act of respect. The families who were searching for their loved ones did not sleep. It seemed disrespectful to turn off the TV, somehow. I remember watching reporters cry in the middle of broadcasts. They were just overwhelmed...weren't we all?

I did not lose anyone personally, but I know a few friends of friends that lost family members. Less than 3000 died, & yet I still have met people who lost someone. It really is a small world...

You know, on one of those planes there was a mother and her 2 year old. And she had to know they were going to die. How do you hold your child and know you are both going to die? What do you say? Do you sing in her ear that Jesus loves her? Do you cry, or do you try to hold it together so that your little girl is not afraid? The absolute terror of it still horrifies me. I cannot imagine it, & it is the one thought that haunts me...

Fortune Cookie Imaginings (DSP Prompt 9/7)

Prompt: You can write your own fortune or tell a story of one that came true or didn't. What comes to you? What are your fortune cookie memories and imaginings?

I am honestly stumped by this one--the problem is this: I am too practical. If my life was any different, it would all be different, & I wouldn't wish anything any differently, I don't think...does that make sense?

Hmmm...maybe I will come back to this one!

Eating Out (DSP Prompt 9/6)

Prompt:

Where do you like to go to eat out? What do you order?
Any stories of a special night out?


My favorite restaurant is actually a mexican restaurant here in town. It is not the best food I have ever had by any stretch, but that place has so many memories! :) Going there tonight, in fact, for a girlfriend's birthday.

My special memory is my 30th birthday. I even did a layout about it using Stacey Jewell Stahl's "One Fine Day" page kit (recolored) and wordart by Tina Chambers:



My girlfriends ended up in cahoots with my husband to throw me a surprise party for my thirtieth. They took me out to dinner so that he could get the house ready. AND I drank waaayyyy too much margarita & even shot some tequila. But what I really remember about that night was laughing. We sat in that restaurant and were, I am sure, totally obnoxious! IT WAS THE MOST FUN I HAVE EVER HAD EATING OUT!!!!

My Children Today (DSP Prompt 9/5)

Prompt: "Don't miss out on who you are today by focusing on what you want to become tomorrow."
OR you can adjust it to be about a child/grandchild. Consider what you love about your child RIGHT NOW. What are his/her unique blessings and talents TODAY? How has being in this particular child's life changed YOUR life?

I could write a book about myself on this prompt, but instead I think I will focus on my children.

My DS: I love right now that he is still young enough to want to kiss and cuddle with me sometimes! I know the day is coming when this will not be the case...he turns 6 next month. I love listening to him sing in the car or anywhere else. He has a beautiful little voice, and it is such a surprise from such an "all boy" little boy! I love his passion for anything that roars or has sharp teeth or runs fast or has venom--he is obsessed with Animal Planet! :)

He changed my life because he was my firstborn, and he was not an easy baby or toddler. He is strong-willed and intelligent and sometimes he makes me crazy. But I never, ever imagined I could love another human being like I love him...From the moment he was born, I felt this crazy sense of healing. I still mourned my father, even though it had been a few years, and I felt in so many ways like a little girl still. When I looked into his eyes for the first time, though, I felt like it was all okay. His very life helped me to make sense of a lot of pain...He is a blessing!

My DD: What is not to love about an almost 2 year old? I love how she loves to sing but how it is slightly off key. And I love that she sings, "For the Bible tells me soooooaaaapppp." She has the sweetest smile; it lights up her face, and it is made even more special by the fact that she doesn't give her smiles away easily. I even love that I still get to change her diapers. We talk and sing and talk about the characters on the diaper, etc. It is so cute when she says, "Eh-mo!!!" (Elmo)

She changed my life because, first of all, I had desperately wanted a baby, and it took me almost 2 years to conceive her. She was a child I had dreamed about and wanted and cried over...And she was a GIRL! Even if I never had another, my son had a sibling and I had a boy & a girl. Simple, I know, but important to me. She is also strong-willed and intelligent and makes me crazy, too!!

This Summer (DSP Prompt 8/31)

Okay, I know it's not officially the last day of summer, but (in the US) after this coming holiday weekend, all kids will be back in school. So, what did you get out of summer this year? Did you learn anything? Do anything new? Wrap it up for us!

Well, my summer wasn't actually that great. I was busy enough and there were some great moments (like Musical Theatre Camp, for example), but what will always characterize this summer is the fact that I lost a baby on June 12...

It was so surreal. I had my cycle in April and then, right on schedule, my monthly visitor in May, but I kept feeling bad and was having some pretty severe cramping and small bits of spotting. I thought I had a cyst or something, so I went to the doc, and he told me I was pregnant. I was two weeks out from AF, so I didn't think it was possible, but apparently AF doesn't always mean you aren't pregnant (which is a terrible thing to someone who has IF problems, because now I can't even count on that to mean anything, ya know?)...

Anyway, I knew from the beginning that it was not a viable pregnancy. And so one week later, at 7 weeks pregnant, I lost my baby.

That is what I will remember about this summer. But I will also remember how great my DH was and how great my friends were--Trish was at my house when I found out for sure that I was going to miscarry, and she cried with me. I will remember what it felt like to know that my baby was in heaven, and the strange peace I felt about that. And I will remain thankful that I was able to take the Eucharist while I was still pregnant and that my favorite priest was able to say a blessing on my family of 5, even if we were only a family of 5 for a very short time...

So, this summer has changed me.

My little girl started preschool...

Evie started preschool this week, and she did so well despite the fact that she had been telling me she did not want to go ("No school. I go Rose's.")! Here is a layout of her first day:



I used Bella Gypsy Design's "Longing for Fall" kit with a special preschool add on that Lena and Tabatha made for me! Thanks Tabby and Lena!!

Message on my Gravestone (DSP Prompt 8/30)

Prompt: For what would you like to be remembered after you have gone?

I'd like people to remember me and say that I was genuine and loyal. I would like to be remembered as someone who cared and listened and participated fully in my life...


If you died tomorrow, what could they put on your gravestone?

Well, I guess there are a lot of things, but the first thing that popped into my head is this:

"SHE DID IT! SHE DID NOT TURN OUT LIKE HER MOTHER!"

Funny, yes, but important to me! :)

Showing Love (DSP Prompt 8/29)

Prompt:
What do you do to let others know you love them?
What do others do that make you feel loved?

Gosh, what do I do to let others know I love them? The first thing that came to mind is that I let my family know I love them by cooking for them, doing laundry, carting them around, etc...But more importantly, I try to take some time to play with my family, even if it is as simple as dancing to a song or singing with them or reading a book. I hope I let my friends know them by remembering little things and being available to them.

I am so super blessed because lots of people show my how much they love me:

My dh has stuck with me for a little over 10 years now (if you include the time we dated), and that is a show of love in and of itself!! :)

My kids are always so happy to see my when I have been away, even for a short time. And it makes me feel loved to see their smiling faces.

My friends are the best--Trish has many times dropped whatever she was doing to keep my child/ren. Just yesterday morning when I was late taking Cater to school, she waited at school so that she could walk him in and I could go on to work. It is small things like that make me know I am loved...It is not unusual to get a phone message or little email from my friends that says nothing more than "Hello--I love you" (in a nutshell).

Did I mention I was blessed?

Who Do I Wish I Knew Better (DSP Blog--08/28)

My dad died when I was 19 years old, and it occurred to me not too long ago how little of my life I actually spent with him...

My parents divorced when I was 3 years old, and my dad moved to Texas when I was 5. I spent all of my summers with him until I was 17, and then I spent my entire summer with him after my freshman year of college. I spent 8-10 hours a day in the hospital with him and watched him die in stages....

And I did know him for 19 years, but turning 30 has really brought back a lot of the grief for me.

Here is the thing: I am finally myself--I am comfortable with myself; I am confident. I wish so much that we could sit down now and talk. There are so many things I would want to know now, as an adult. My dad played and sang in night clubs--I wish I had known that side of him. And I know it is a side of him that I would have known only as an adult.

I sang at a funeral recently, and afterwards I cried for my father for the first time in a long time. I cried because it was the best I had ever sang, and I was so very sad. I was sad because I realized how awesome it feels now to sing--the whole time my dad knew me, I was so nervous to sing. But now I just let go, and I wish so much that I could sing for him now. I wish he could sit down at the piano and cock his head and play and that I could sing with that abandon that he always tried to get me to sing with....

I wish that I could talk to him about my children.

I am just now so keenly aware that no matter how well I knew my father at age 19, there will always be parts of him that I never will know or see...

Random Acts of Kindness (DSP Blog 8/25)

Prompt: If you were able to, what 3 random acts of kindness would you do where no one would know that you did it?

This one is a toughy, in a way, but I do have a couple of ideas, all depend upon me winning the lottery, mind you:

1. I would pay off my best friend's house, cars, everything, and I would put money in trust for all of my godchildren to have money for college. They work so hard and have accomplished so much in one generation (first to graduate college, own a home, etc), and I think to be relieved of that burden would be so awesome for them. But I would do it in such a way so that they would never be able to prove it was me because I would not want them to ever feel beholden, ya know?

2. I would buy my husband a big truck and a boat and a house at the lake...he works so hard and I think if we hadn't married, he would be living in a shack on the lake, fishing a lot and being solitary...maybe not a random act of kindness, but an act of kindness nonetheless...

3. I would, hmmm..., third one is harder.....I would pay for all of my friends to go through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University--there is no gift like financial independence.

My Education (DSP--08/23/06)

Gosh, my most recent degree was a Master of Technical and Professional Communication, which is what they used to call technical writing. Of course now it included multimedia and document design and web design and so they gave it a long, fancy name...essentially it is all the kinds of writing that are practical and useful. I think it says a lot about me that I chose this degree and loved it so much...

When I was younger (like a teenager and even undergraduate), I liked to read literature, or at least pretend to read literature. I thought of myself as an artsy English major type, but I wasn't really. The truth is this: I love to read, but I found a lot of what is taught in Literature classes to be, well, pointless. It was not practical to me, and after many, many literature classes as an undergraduate, I finally realized this. My other undergrad degree was in history, and I found it to be more to my liking--it was more concrete to me somehow, although I would venture to guess that most history professors would debate that with me.

So, I graduated and didn't go back for a graduate degree until like 6 years later. And by that time the English Department had a new degree--technical and professional communication. IT WAS MADE FOR ME!!! It was while I was working on this degree that I first got to teach, and that has become my real passion, but that is probably another blog.

The long and short of it is this: I learned a lot as a Literature major and as a graduate student in Tech & Prof Comm, but what I really learned is that I am fundamentally a really practical person. Writing with a practical purpose appeals to me, and I love that what I chose to do encompassed my love of practicality along with my love of the written word...

I am...(Brainstorming for DSP's NKOTB5, rnd3)

I am my Memaw's granddaughter, and my mother's daughter, and part of a great line of women. Only girl in my generation, I was pampered and cherished. But truly, I am my Memaw's granddaugher. It amazes me how much alike we are in temprament--even though we are 50 years apart.

Music

Maybe do a layout about something that defines me (find the fuzzibunz layout)...

Things that stir my soul...(DSP Book of Me)

Things That Stir My Soul:

My husband's smile
When my children tell me they love me
"The Summons" by John Bell
Singing harmony with Trish
The Mass

How I was proposed to...(DSP 7/20 prompt)

I would like to say that my DH planned a beautiful proposal with candlelight and flowers and romance, but, alas, that is not the case.

We had been dating for about 2 years, and it was a forgone conclusion that we would get married. But I had just quit grad school and had gotten an interview for an editing job in Rockville, Maryland, which is in the Washington D.C. metro area. Kevin decided to come with me to Maryland so that we could look around, etc. I knew something was up; a couple of times the night before we left he got on his knees and acted super strange...

Before I go any further, you have to understand that I am super gullible, and DH took advantage of this pretty frequently...

So, we get to our hotel room in Rockville, Maryland, a Marriot Courtyard hotel room, room 502, and I decide I am going to tease him a bit. When he came out of the bathroom, I said, "I found it!!!" He gets this very strange look and says, "You found what?" And I said, "My ring!" Now, mind you, I had not found anything. He then gets this crushed look and says, "Well, then, I guess I had better go on and give it to you." I said, "No! I really didn't find anything. I was teasing you. I thought you would play it off!" He said, "It's okay. I'll go and get it anyway."

I sat on the bed, he got on one knee, and he said, "Does the little Bug want to get married?" (We call each other Bug.) And I said, "Of course!" I cried a little and we hugged.

I felt awful. I expected him to play it off, you know, say, "What ring? What makes you think you are gonna get a ring?" and then propose somewhere glorious, like the Jefferson Memorial.

So that is how I ruined my own propsal.

I did find out later from my Memaw that he had taken the ring by her house and let her see it and try it on. He asked her permission to marry me, which is so sweet. My dad had passed away, and my mother, well, that is just another blog...

We are happy, though. These past 7 1/2 years of marriage have been GREAT!

BTW, I didn't take the job in Maryland--it was too expensive to live there on a copyeditor's salary! :)

I got invited to be on Bella Gypsy's CT!

Something so unexpected happened to me today--I got invited to be in a digital scrapping creative team. It was such a whim to ask Tabby and Lena if I could join, and I really did not think they would say yes. BUT THEY DID!! I am so excited and a little nervous, too!

So, thanks to Tabatha and Lena! I hope I can do your designs justice! Thanks for giving me a shot!

If I hadn't left my house today...

If I had decided not to leave my house today, it would have been a huge deal.

Today was the first day of Musical Theatre Camp 2006--my second year as assistant director of a camp with 20 kids ages 7-16. If I had decided to stay in bed today (which was tempting at 6am, let me tell you), I would have let Tricia down be not showing up and possibly ruined my friendship with her. I also would have missed out on a great group of kids--these kids learned the music and choreography to a song today in less than 3 hours! Amazing! Not to mention that the sitter would have expected us, and she would have been upset when we did not come. She loves being with Evie Catherine and so does her son, Nikki, so I think Nikki especially would have been upset if we did not come.

Otherwise, after the past two weeks, I need something to keep me occupied, and I think it would have been so lonely and sad to stay at home...especially since Cater went to his MawMaw's today for the week.

It has been a good day so far, so I am glad I decided to participate! :)

I wore a bikini today...

I wore a bikini to the pool today. I know it doesn't seem like that big a deal, but it was for me. The last time I wore a bikini was when I was 17 years old and had starved myself down to 118lbs. And I remember feeling so fat in that suit.

But yesterday I found a bikini at Target that I liked, and I bought it. After 30 years of feeling self-conscious about my body and feeling dowdy and conservative, I decided that I am sick of feeling like an old woman. I am 30 years old, 5'3", 139lbs with stretch marks and a pouchy belly, and I wore that bikini today and felt just fine. Even more than that, I felt great. Great because I did not feel fat; I did not feel self-conscious; I did not feel dowdy... Seems strange that after carrying and giving birth to two children, I feel better about myself than I ever have. I never thought I would ever feel this way, but I LOVE MY BODY, flaws and all!

And this turquoise bikini is just an outward sign of an inward transformation. I am finally figuring out who I am. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I am finally confident. I am finally, finally happy with myself!

St. Michael's Church Picnic (or The Scrapbook of My Life)

Today was the annual church picnic. It was at Kiesel Park, and it was so much fun! A moonwalk, free ice cream, hot dogs, hamburgers, water balloons, etc. We sat under a shade tree with Kirsten, Rich, Maureen, Rob, Maribeth, and some new people, too. Henri and his wife (I can't remember her name) just moved to Auburn. Henri is a dentist, and they lived in Metarie, LA. Their house was not hurt in Katrina, but he lost almost all of his patients after the hurricane. He and his wife are going to stay here, and I think they are so nice. They have a baby boy who is 1 and an older son who is going into 1st grade. They are Maribeth's new neighbors, and I am glad she has more good neighbors (God knows she needs them). Also, I met Kyle and Terri.
They just got married, and she just moved here from Troy. Together they have 5 boys under the age of thirteen. She is blonde and beautiful--and she seemed very nice.

But I think that the most significant thing that happened was just a normal moment. Maribeth brought an old loaf of bread so that the kids could feed the coy in the little pond. She was walking with Dirk, Nicolas, and Hayden, and Cater joined her. As I was watching her walk away, it was like I could see the scrapbook of my life...it sounds cheesy, I know, but I could almost see my future...years and years of church picnics and birthdays and nights at Laredo's and our children growing up and being old women together. I feel so blessed by this church, by God leading me to Catholicism, by God blessing me with friends and family and children and everything...

So, it was a good day.

My Birth Story (for DSP's BOM Challenge)

My mother always tells me that I am a miracle baby. Daddy was not supposed to be able to father a child, so after my parents married, my mother went off birth control. She had been off it for a week when they conceived me--evidently while she was giving Daddy a permanent (and by that I mean that he had curlers in his hair). That has always cracked me up. Mama says it was a relatively easy pregnancy, with all of the standard morning sickness and discomfort. She only gained 18lbs, so I can’t imagine it was that bad. I’ve seen pictures of her when she was pregnant with me, and she looks beautiful and happy.

I was due on Mama’s birthday, April 18th, but Mama never went into labor. So, they set an induction date of April 28th. According to her, she and Daddy spent the whole day before cooking food for all the company they were expecting—I can totally imagine the two of them in the kitchen together!

The story of my actual birth I have pieced together from conversations with Mama and Daddy (and my grandparents, too). My understanding is that Mama was fully dilated, but that she could not push me out. Every time she would push, I would uncurl my head. I don’t think Mama really realized something was wrong until Dr. Blanton (the older, more experienced OB who was not on call but was an old family friend) showed up. She says that she asked him, “What are you doing here? I thought Dr. Dillard was going to deliver the baby.” He reportedly said, “I heard you were having a baby, and I couldn’t just sit at home across the street!” Meanwhile, Dr. Dillard was telling my father that my mother was dying (I am still not sure exactly why) and that there was no way that both of us were going to survive the birth. My grandmother says that my father literally dropped to his knees at the news and told Dr. Dillard to save my mother, if he could. She also says that after Dr. Dillard left, Daddy sat down in the chair and cried.

But we both did survive it. I was born via cesarean section at 11:35pm on April 28, 1976 in Selma, Alabama to James Thomas Cater and Sarah Frances Crisman Cater. Mama almost bled to death after the surgery and her blood pressure was dangerously low. And according to Mama, they later told her that the cord was wrapped around my neck in such a way that caused my head to pull back when she would push. Dr. Dillard officially delivered, but Dr. Blanton was there assisting because (as he later told my parents) things got so bad that Dr. Dillard called him for help.

So, that is why I am a miracle baby. I was born to a woman who was barely off birth control and a man who wasn’t supposed to have enough sperm to make a baby. And I survived a birth that I wasn’t supposed to survive. I have always felt a little lucky to have made it, and I know that God must have some purpose for me because of it.